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Letters In The Attic
Heaven was everything I had imagined it to be. That was the first thought I remember having as Jesus led my by the
hand through the indescribable glory of His kingdom. It seemed that I had been here forever but the wonder never
diminished. The luminescent beauty of the colors was stunning, but the most amazing thing was - everything in
heaven was alive. I couldn’t help but watch in sheer astonishment as I saw living music flowing from the trumpets
that heralded the arrival of yet another soul. Another child of the living God, who had just arrived in the arms of a
magnificent angel, with joy and wonder reflected in wide eyes.
Jesus and I had been out for a walk. Instead of walking through the mountains or along the ocean shore splashing
barefoot in the incoming tide, He had led me to a quaint little cottage such as one might expect to find described in
a Dickens novel, set in 18th century England. Before I could ask Him why, we had arrived. Jesus reached into the
flowing robes He wore to pull out a small key which he handed to me. He touched the wooden door and it opened
wide, greeting us as we stepped through into the small cottage.
Once inside I was struck by how simple and yet beautiful the room was. It had the cozy warm feel you might get from
spending a cold winter night in front of a crackling log fire, sharing a cup of hot cocoa with a good friend.
It had to be a carpenter’s house. One who loved to craft his own furniture, for each piece was exquisitely made. I
could see no joins in the wood, not nail or screw to hold it together. It was as though the wood had simply bowed
and formed into shape willingly as desired by its creator.
Jesus took my hand and led me across the room to the staircase that spiraled up towards the attic. I gripped the
key tightly in my hand as we climbed the steep and narrow stairs.
At the top Jesus spoke to the door and it swung open. I followed Him through and looked around. Instead of a dingy
attic it was wide and spacious with huge bay windows of living crystal that allowed a rainbow of light and the sounds
of joy to stream into the room. They also gave a panoramic view of the streets of heaven below us.
It was nearly bare however, with just a single chair, a desk and a small framed photograph that sat on top of a small
wooden box on the desk. Something important lay in that box, of that I was certain. The key in my hand stirred.
"Wait here child," Jesus said.
"But Jesus! You said You would never leave me. You p-promised!" I stammered.
He hugged me. "Precious child, I am not leaving you. I am going downstairs. If you need Me, you have only to call
my name and before the words are formed I will be at your side. You know this My child."
He paused and with both hands on my shoulders, He looked into my eyes. "My Father wants to spend some time
with you today."
"God the Father?" I whispered. So far even in heaven I had managed to avoid Him. I was afraid
of Him. How one could be afraid of God in heaven I did not know but I was.
Jesus sighed. "You are His child, His creation. I tell you this, dearheart. You need not fear the One whose heart
broke for you." He turned and was gone.
The key began to sing with joyous excitement. As I stepped closer to the waiting box it flew from my hand into the
lock. I had to admire it’’s enthusiasm. If only I could feel the same sense of excitement knowing that at any moment
God the Father would be joining me.
No sign of Him yet. Perhaps He was too busy to meet with me today. I sure hoped so.
I stepped up and turned the key in the lock and the lid sprang open. A hauntingly beautiful but sad melody began
to flow from deep within it. As the notes floated like bubbles around me, I was overwhelmed by the depth of emotion
of which they sang. The unselfish giving, the deep longing and the anguish of pure love rejected. What wonderful
treasures of the heart had been locked away in this box?
Looking in I saw a thick bundle of letters. There was something familiar about them. As I reached in to the box they
slipped into my hand as though I had just completed their destiny.
Some of the envelopes were yellowed with age, yet others were still white and fresh, but not one had been opened.
All bore the unbroken seal of the Lion of Judah in sealing wax. They were entwined together with a piece of soft
green vine on which red and purple leaves grew abundantly, protectively circling the parchment.
These were God's letters! Brushing a leaf aside I peered down at them to see whom they were addressed to. My
mouth fell open and in shock I dropped the entire bundle. They were addressed to me!
Shaking I fell to my knees and my trembling hands took hold of a letter. The vine drew back graciously to allow me
to remove it. I turned it over and touched the beautiful seal, for indeed it was beautiful; too beautiful to break. But it
vanished and the envelope opened. I unfolded a beautiful gold parchment and began to read.
"My precious child,
The moment you fell to your knees today I sent an army of warring angels to defend you. The evil one may
think he will tear you apart with his lies but he wasn't counting on My love for you. I love you so much My
heart is bursting with joy over you! Oh I am so proud of you! You make a Father’s heart sing! The angels in
heaven rejoiced with you as you led those two teenagers to Me through My Son.
Of course the enemy was so mad he sent the demons Doubt and Harassment to torment you but your
prayers were quick and My angels were already waiting by the time they arrived to send them back into the
pits of hell with their tails between their legs.
We rejoiced in your victory! Do you feel My love for you, My creation, My blessed one?
Your loving Father,
God"
I swallowed hard. I remembered the incident. But not feeling His pride. Had He forgotten to send it? That didn’t
make any sense. God didn't "forget". I picked up another one, this time from the bottom of the pile. It was very old
and this one too had never been opened. It read -
"Little creation,
Today I breathed life into you. You are My secret. In just a few days My wonderful design will begin to unfold
as your tiny heart begins to beat. I have never made anyone quite like you. You are special, unique and oh
so precious. Already I have given you everything you need to be formed in My image. You are My baby and I
am your Father in Heaven. I long for the day when I will embrace you in My arms of love.
Jehovah Jirah (Daddy to you)"
I folded the page and sat for a moment staring out the window. My mind was numb. God the Father had written this
to me before I was even born; at the moment of my creation. Quickly I reached for another letter and began to read.
"Dearheart,
Why do you turn your back on Me? Haven’t I always loved you? Haven’t I always been there for you? My
heart breaks watching you stumble away from My outstretched arms, into the enemy’’s dark shadows of
deceit and despair. You have believed in a lie today. You believed that I did not love you. That I did not care.
That I had turned away from you when you needed Me most. Did you not see Me standing there? Could you
not hear My voice calling and calling to you? ‘‘Come back My precious child!’’ I cried out to you and all the
heavens shook with My grief, for you only turned your head and held your hands out for Satan to bind you
tightly once again. You spoke of shame and your sin. I could see no such thing. All I could see was My
beautiful child, My very own little one, clothed in righteousness and covered by the Blood of My Son. Later
when you wept bitter tears in a darkened room, I stood beside you and cried with you. You know ‘‘no such
father,’’ you said. You were wrong. You had me.
Eternally Yours,
Abba Father"
My tears were flowing freely now. I grabbed another one. It was brief.
"Forgiven child,
In answer to your question ‘‘How could I love you’’, I tell you this. How could I NOT love you? You are My
child. Yes what you did today was wrong. But I am afraid I am unable to discuss it with you because the very
moment you sought My forgiveness, it vanished from My memory, farther than the east is from the west. All I
see now is you - My child, a citizen of heaven, a saint. I see no stain or sin.
Your eternal Father,
Yaweh"
I opened the next letter.
"My beloved,
Your definition of a father is someone who causes deep pain. One who rejects, belittles and betrays you,
who causes despair and fear, as his words fling ice cold condemnation into your heart. One who cannot
love and even if he could, would never love you.
My definition is different. I long to comfort you, to soothe away the pain of a lifetime. I would never hurt you.
Why do you reject My love?
Today I watched you, all alone, your heart in utter despair, torn apart by lies that haunt you from the past
and My heart broke for you. When I tried to comfort you pushed Me away. You did not believe me. Still I
loved you. There is nothing you could do to make Me stop loving you. You told My Son I frighten you. Oh how
I grieved to hear you say that. Jesus hugged Me and said ‘‘Dad, Our child will understand Your love one day.
I’ll keep telling her how much You love her and so will the Holy Spirit. You are the greatest Father in the
Universe, an awesome Dad.’’
You see My Son understands My love for you. Because of you...a moment came when He felt the total
devastation of losing My love, just for a moment, when He hung on the cross and I turned My back on Him,
for He bore your sin. It was the only time We have ever been separated. Do you think I would hurt Him so
deeply if it had not been out of love for you? That you, My little lamb might not perish? There was no other
way. My Word speaks of My love for you and I know you read it, but you see the words as ‘‘through a glass
darkly’’. Dearheart, how could I love you more? Please let Me reach you with My love. Your tears are more
precious than diamonds to Me.
Your broken hearted Father God"
I set the letter down and as I did, I wept. All the wasted years. How He loved me. Where had these letters gone?
They were addressed to me but I had never read them. I glanced down at an envelope. There was something
written across the front of it. I leaned closer.
There in my very own handwriting were the clearly written words, "Return to Sender".
Panicking, I spread the envelopes. It was the same with every one. Sometimes my handwriting was bold and firm,
sometimes frail and faint, but every envelope - every un-opened envelope said the same thing. I had refused to
hear or read or see the truth of God the Father’s love for me. The love that welled deeper than any ocean,
encompassing the heavens...and the love that had sent His beloved Son to die in agony - for me.
I looked up at the desk. There sat the photograph. It was a living photograph of me, ever changing. One moment I
was a tiny newborn, now a little two year old child, next a rebellious teenager and finally a weary adult. I could see I
wasn’t alone in the picture. In every scene there was God the Father, laughing with me, crying with me, holding out
His arms to me. Yet in so many scenes I was turning away from Him, even pushing Him away.
"No! He loves you! I mean, He loves me! Don’t hurt Him!" I cried out as though I could somehow change what I knew
was only a rerun of events long past. The scene in the photograph continued to change, and I turned away, unable
to bear the sight of His anguish as I rejected His love, over and over again.
I shook my head. "I’m so very sorry." I told the empty room.
"Don’t be sad My little one. I just wanted you to understand how much I love you."
It was God the Father, His voice gentle and deep with compassion. I whirled around. He stood just a few feet away
from me.
"Father! I know You love me. I understand now..." I began, as I rose to my feet and faced Him.
To my amazement His face lit up with joy.
"Precious lamb! I have been waiting for all eternity to hear you say those words! But tell me child, do you still fear
Me?"
I shook my head, speechless and flung myself into the warm embrace of my Father’s waiting arms. He held me
tightly and love beyond my comprehension flowed through me. A Father’s healing love that washed away forever
the hurt of the past. I heard Jesus come back up the stairs and God the Father beckoned Him over to where we
stood. Jesus smiled warmly and took my hand, with a knowing nod to His Father.
"Come My beloved. Our Father has a very important letter to write."
I left the room with Jesus, but looked back over my shoulder to see God the Father sitting at the desk. A different
picture had appeared in the frame - a tiny little speck.
As we stepped down the winding stairs, I heard His majestic voice speaking out loud....soft, deep, so full of love as
He began to dictate,
"My new creation, your life has just begun this moment and already, I love you...."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~
Jeremiah 1:5 " I knew you before I formed you in your mother’’s womb. Before you were born I set you
apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world."
Heaven was everything I had imagined it to be. That was the first thought I remember having as Jesus led my by the
hand through the indescribable glory of His kingdom. It seemed that I had been here forever but the wonder never
diminished. The luminescent beauty of the colors was stunning, but the most amazing thing was - everything in
heaven was alive. I couldn’t help but watch in sheer astonishment as I saw living music flowing from the trumpets
that heralded the arrival of yet another soul. Another child of the living God, who had just arrived in the arms of a
magnificent angel, with joy and wonder reflected in wide eyes.
Jesus and I had been out for a walk. Instead of walking through the mountains or along the ocean shore splashing
barefoot in the incoming tide, He had led me to a quaint little cottage such as one might expect to find described in
a Dickens novel, set in 18th century England. Before I could ask Him why, we had arrived. Jesus reached into the
flowing robes He wore to pull out a small key which he handed to me. He touched the wooden door and it opened
wide, greeting us as we stepped through into the small cottage.
Once inside I was struck by how simple and yet beautiful the room was. It had the cozy warm feel you might get from
spending a cold winter night in front of a crackling log fire, sharing a cup of hot cocoa with a good friend.
It had to be a carpenter’s house. One who loved to craft his own furniture, for each piece was exquisitely made. I
could see no joins in the wood, not nail or screw to hold it together. It was as though the wood had simply bowed
and formed into shape willingly as desired by its creator.
Jesus took my hand and led me across the room to the staircase that spiraled up towards the attic. I gripped the
key tightly in my hand as we climbed the steep and narrow stairs.
At the top Jesus spoke to the door and it swung open. I followed Him through and looked around. Instead of a dingy
attic it was wide and spacious with huge bay windows of living crystal that allowed a rainbow of light and the sounds
of joy to stream into the room. They also gave a panoramic view of the streets of heaven below us.
It was nearly bare however, with just a single chair, a desk and a small framed photograph that sat on top of a small
wooden box on the desk. Something important lay in that box, of that I was certain. The key in my hand stirred.
"Wait here child," Jesus said.
"But Jesus! You said You would never leave me. You p-promised!" I stammered.
He hugged me. "Precious child, I am not leaving you. I am going downstairs. If you need Me, you have only to call
my name and before the words are formed I will be at your side. You know this My child."
He paused and with both hands on my shoulders, He looked into my eyes. "My Father wants to spend some time
with you today."
"God the Father?" I whispered. So far even in heaven I had managed to avoid Him. I was afraid
of Him. How one could be afraid of God in heaven I did not know but I was.
Jesus sighed. "You are His child, His creation. I tell you this, dearheart. You need not fear the One whose heart
broke for you." He turned and was gone.
The key began to sing with joyous excitement. As I stepped closer to the waiting box it flew from my hand into the
lock. I had to admire it’’s enthusiasm. If only I could feel the same sense of excitement knowing that at any moment
God the Father would be joining me.
No sign of Him yet. Perhaps He was too busy to meet with me today. I sure hoped so.
I stepped up and turned the key in the lock and the lid sprang open. A hauntingly beautiful but sad melody began
to flow from deep within it. As the notes floated like bubbles around me, I was overwhelmed by the depth of emotion
of which they sang. The unselfish giving, the deep longing and the anguish of pure love rejected. What wonderful
treasures of the heart had been locked away in this box?
Looking in I saw a thick bundle of letters. There was something familiar about them. As I reached in to the box they
slipped into my hand as though I had just completed their destiny.
Some of the envelopes were yellowed with age, yet others were still white and fresh, but not one had been opened.
All bore the unbroken seal of the Lion of Judah in sealing wax. They were entwined together with a piece of soft
green vine on which red and purple leaves grew abundantly, protectively circling the parchment.
These were God's letters! Brushing a leaf aside I peered down at them to see whom they were addressed to. My
mouth fell open and in shock I dropped the entire bundle. They were addressed to me!
Shaking I fell to my knees and my trembling hands took hold of a letter. The vine drew back graciously to allow me
to remove it. I turned it over and touched the beautiful seal, for indeed it was beautiful; too beautiful to break. But it
vanished and the envelope opened. I unfolded a beautiful gold parchment and began to read.
"My precious child,
The moment you fell to your knees today I sent an army of warring angels to defend you. The evil one may
think he will tear you apart with his lies but he wasn't counting on My love for you. I love you so much My
heart is bursting with joy over you! Oh I am so proud of you! You make a Father’s heart sing! The angels in
heaven rejoiced with you as you led those two teenagers to Me through My Son.
Of course the enemy was so mad he sent the demons Doubt and Harassment to torment you but your
prayers were quick and My angels were already waiting by the time they arrived to send them back into the
pits of hell with their tails between their legs.
We rejoiced in your victory! Do you feel My love for you, My creation, My blessed one?
Your loving Father,
God"
I swallowed hard. I remembered the incident. But not feeling His pride. Had He forgotten to send it? That didn’t
make any sense. God didn't "forget". I picked up another one, this time from the bottom of the pile. It was very old
and this one too had never been opened. It read -
"Little creation,
Today I breathed life into you. You are My secret. In just a few days My wonderful design will begin to unfold
as your tiny heart begins to beat. I have never made anyone quite like you. You are special, unique and oh
so precious. Already I have given you everything you need to be formed in My image. You are My baby and I
am your Father in Heaven. I long for the day when I will embrace you in My arms of love.
Jehovah Jirah (Daddy to you)"
I folded the page and sat for a moment staring out the window. My mind was numb. God the Father had written this
to me before I was even born; at the moment of my creation. Quickly I reached for another letter and began to read.
"Dearheart,
Why do you turn your back on Me? Haven’t I always loved you? Haven’t I always been there for you? My
heart breaks watching you stumble away from My outstretched arms, into the enemy’’s dark shadows of
deceit and despair. You have believed in a lie today. You believed that I did not love you. That I did not care.
That I had turned away from you when you needed Me most. Did you not see Me standing there? Could you
not hear My voice calling and calling to you? ‘‘Come back My precious child!’’ I cried out to you and all the
heavens shook with My grief, for you only turned your head and held your hands out for Satan to bind you
tightly once again. You spoke of shame and your sin. I could see no such thing. All I could see was My
beautiful child, My very own little one, clothed in righteousness and covered by the Blood of My Son. Later
when you wept bitter tears in a darkened room, I stood beside you and cried with you. You know ‘‘no such
father,’’ you said. You were wrong. You had me.
Eternally Yours,
Abba Father"
My tears were flowing freely now. I grabbed another one. It was brief.
"Forgiven child,
In answer to your question ‘‘How could I love you’’, I tell you this. How could I NOT love you? You are My
child. Yes what you did today was wrong. But I am afraid I am unable to discuss it with you because the very
moment you sought My forgiveness, it vanished from My memory, farther than the east is from the west. All I
see now is you - My child, a citizen of heaven, a saint. I see no stain or sin.
Your eternal Father,
Yaweh"
I opened the next letter.
"My beloved,
Your definition of a father is someone who causes deep pain. One who rejects, belittles and betrays you,
who causes despair and fear, as his words fling ice cold condemnation into your heart. One who cannot
love and even if he could, would never love you.
My definition is different. I long to comfort you, to soothe away the pain of a lifetime. I would never hurt you.
Why do you reject My love?
Today I watched you, all alone, your heart in utter despair, torn apart by lies that haunt you from the past
and My heart broke for you. When I tried to comfort you pushed Me away. You did not believe me. Still I
loved you. There is nothing you could do to make Me stop loving you. You told My Son I frighten you. Oh how
I grieved to hear you say that. Jesus hugged Me and said ‘‘Dad, Our child will understand Your love one day.
I’ll keep telling her how much You love her and so will the Holy Spirit. You are the greatest Father in the
Universe, an awesome Dad.’’
You see My Son understands My love for you. Because of you...a moment came when He felt the total
devastation of losing My love, just for a moment, when He hung on the cross and I turned My back on Him,
for He bore your sin. It was the only time We have ever been separated. Do you think I would hurt Him so
deeply if it had not been out of love for you? That you, My little lamb might not perish? There was no other
way. My Word speaks of My love for you and I know you read it, but you see the words as ‘‘through a glass
darkly’’. Dearheart, how could I love you more? Please let Me reach you with My love. Your tears are more
precious than diamonds to Me.
Your broken hearted Father God"
I set the letter down and as I did, I wept. All the wasted years. How He loved me. Where had these letters gone?
They were addressed to me but I had never read them. I glanced down at an envelope. There was something
written across the front of it. I leaned closer.
There in my very own handwriting were the clearly written words, "Return to Sender".
Panicking, I spread the envelopes. It was the same with every one. Sometimes my handwriting was bold and firm,
sometimes frail and faint, but every envelope - every un-opened envelope said the same thing. I had refused to
hear or read or see the truth of God the Father’s love for me. The love that welled deeper than any ocean,
encompassing the heavens...and the love that had sent His beloved Son to die in agony - for me.
I looked up at the desk. There sat the photograph. It was a living photograph of me, ever changing. One moment I
was a tiny newborn, now a little two year old child, next a rebellious teenager and finally a weary adult. I could see I
wasn’t alone in the picture. In every scene there was God the Father, laughing with me, crying with me, holding out
His arms to me. Yet in so many scenes I was turning away from Him, even pushing Him away.
"No! He loves you! I mean, He loves me! Don’t hurt Him!" I cried out as though I could somehow change what I knew
was only a rerun of events long past. The scene in the photograph continued to change, and I turned away, unable
to bear the sight of His anguish as I rejected His love, over and over again.
I shook my head. "I’m so very sorry." I told the empty room.
"Don’t be sad My little one. I just wanted you to understand how much I love you."
It was God the Father, His voice gentle and deep with compassion. I whirled around. He stood just a few feet away
from me.
"Father! I know You love me. I understand now..." I began, as I rose to my feet and faced Him.
To my amazement His face lit up with joy.
"Precious lamb! I have been waiting for all eternity to hear you say those words! But tell me child, do you still fear
Me?"
I shook my head, speechless and flung myself into the warm embrace of my Father’s waiting arms. He held me
tightly and love beyond my comprehension flowed through me. A Father’s healing love that washed away forever
the hurt of the past. I heard Jesus come back up the stairs and God the Father beckoned Him over to where we
stood. Jesus smiled warmly and took my hand, with a knowing nod to His Father.
"Come My beloved. Our Father has a very important letter to write."
I left the room with Jesus, but looked back over my shoulder to see God the Father sitting at the desk. A different
picture had appeared in the frame - a tiny little speck.
As we stepped down the winding stairs, I heard His majestic voice speaking out loud....soft, deep, so full of love as
He began to dictate,
"My new creation, your life has just begun this moment and already, I love you...."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
~ ~
Jeremiah 1:5 " I knew you before I formed you in your mother’’s womb. Before you were born I set you
apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world."