A NIGHT TO REMEMBER                 (dedicated to the broken hearted ones whom Jesus loves so much)                                                                                                                                                                                                                              by Janet Anderegg
			If you have ever been through a divorce with your children....if you are raising them as a single parent....then this story is dedicated to you
	The storm seemed to be gaining in it's intensity as the chilling wind howled outside and she could have sworn it was howling it's frustration in failing to enter her home.  The soft music from the Christmas CD she had put on was gallantly battling the sound of the wind but she wondered just how "rested" those merry gentlemen would have felt on a night like this one.  The cold chilled her to the bottom of her soul despite the heat from the fire crackling in the fireplace.  Her heart pounded in her chest until she was certain it would burst from the pain......but it never did.   Turning from the window, she let the heavy curtain fall against the wooden frame.  It was a year tonight and no amount of mental willpower stopped the scene from playing over and over in her head. He was leaving her. In the course of one hour...her entire life had dissolved as easily as the teaspoon of sugar in the cup of hot black coffee she had left sitting as he started to speak. They had sat like awkward kids at opposite ends of the couch, the twinkling lights of their Christmas tree reflecting off the piles of colorfully wrapped gifts she had so happily placed there just moments before he arrived home.   The shame and disbelief was almost easy to bear compared to the revelation that he had been seeing the other woman for almost a year.  At first she had grasped at hope, and reached out to touch him, but he had  eased away from her as though she were some dangerous creature....not to be touched or trusted. She asked him one question.......why? It went unanswered like the cry for love in her heart and he would not look her in the eyes again.   She had begged him not to go.  Not on Christmas Eve.  For the sake of the children, she had pleaded for just one more day. He had mumbled something about being afraid he would change his mind and walked out the door without looking back. That night she had cried out to God for a miracle but it never came and he did not return.   Life became a day by day struggle to exist.  Somehow she found the strength to be both mother and father to two small children, hold down a job and keep up a house.   Her friends were sympathetic but she found herself slipping away from them.  She couldn't bear to be the odd one out amongst the happy couples.   If not for the children she might have never gone on. Her life had been one of pain and betrayal from the earliest memories she had.  He had been her knight in shining armor as he galloped into her life and promised her the world.  She told him she didn't want the world, but he had promised to love her forever and slowly her initial reservations gave way.   A fragile trust developed that grew into a true love running like a deep current beneath a still water...until the night he had left her without looking back. Just after he had left, she overheard someone talking one night in church and the words penetrated her wounded heart like flaming arrows as they discussed the reasons they believe he had left her.  Clutching her arms around her chest, she had left, vowing she would never return to face them again.   The pastor's wife had sent her a few little notes, saying they missed her but she ignored them and the phone calls and eventually they left her alone. The children didn't understand and they enjoyed their visits with Daddy and his new "friend". Then as the visits grew further and further apart, little Zachary sat up in bed one night and asked her why Daddy didn't want them anymore? Before waiting for a reply, he had thrown himself onto his pillow sobbing and she had been unable to comfort him. Calling a neighbor in to watch them, she had driven to his new house and demanded to know why on earth he wanted to hurt them as much as he had hurt her. His reply stunned her.  God had forgiven him....why couldn't she? He had a new life and his girlfriend had accepted Jesus, so she should be happy for them if she was truly as Christian.  Why couldn't she just accept it and go on? Why indeed?  As she had driven home in silence, the numbness crept deeper into her heart.  He was right. She hadn't forgiven him and every time she looked at her children struggling with their new life, she hated him more....with a bitterness so deep that it sometimes felt as though it would strangle her very soul. Now here it was Christmas Eve once again and the pain seemed even harder to bear.  No sparkling piles of presents under the tree this year.  She could barely pay the rent and keep food on the table, much less buy the gifts her two little "angels" had so sweetly asked Santa for this year.   "Santa" ...bless his heart....had looked up and seeing the despair in her eyes told the children that while he would do his very best, he couldn't make any promises.  He added that they should remember what a wonderful gift they had in their mommy.  Emma had smiled and nodded but Zach had simply looked away and her heart sank even deeper.  Would she lose her little boy now too? "God....please help them to understand." she had whispered silently. That night when she had arrived home from a long day at work, two envelopes had sat in the mailbox. One was a long overdue bill and the other an invitation to a Christmas play at church that evening. The pastor's wife had written a little note underneath asking her to be sure to come because they loved and missed her. The performance was entitled  "A Night To Remember" and it promised an exciting re-enactment of the birth of Jesus, complete with live camels and donkeys borrowed from the local petting zoo. So here she stood, wondering where they would put a live camel and who would clean up the mess, but it sparked no desire to attend. She was through with them and she was through with God. Where had He been when she needed Him the most? Where was He now? The pastor's wife might miss her but of this she was certain......God wouldn't. The lights flickered and without further warning the entire house was plunged into darkness. She waited, hoping for a quick return of the power, but after a few long seconds, she sighed and made her way to the kitchen, groping along the side of the bench until she found the drawer with the flashlight. Flipping it on she headed towards the front door thankful the children were already asleep.  The wind howled louder than ever and she hesitated, looking over her shoulder as she had done a thousand times ....almost expecting to see him striding towards the door to take care of whatever problem there was at hand and feeling once more the bitter plunge of her stomach as she realized he would never be there for her again. With a deep breath she yanked on the old door.  As it opened a barrage of sleety rain hit her full in the face. With one hand over her eyes she struggled through the door and out onto the porch.  She could barely see the little lantern in her front yard swinging wildly on it's pole. Wrapping her sweater tightly around her, she started down the steps wishing she had grabbed her coat as the rain pelted down. Out of the corner of her eye she saw a huge branch tear from the old pine tree in her yard and come hurtling towards her.  She ducked and flung her arms up, losing her balance as the branch landed right on top of her knocking her to the ground. "Are you alright?" a man's voice said. She felt the branch being lifted away and she took his offered hand as she struggled to her feet. "Yes I think so." she replied, trying to see her rescuer clearly through the driving wind. "Look out!" he shouted and grabbing her by the arms he flung her sideways to the ground as an ever larger branch tore itself loose and hurtled over their heads. They jumped up and he shouted to be heard. "Get back on the porch!  I'll flip the breaker back on!" "Okay!" she shouted back and she ran for the house as he vanished around the corner.   As she climbed the steps the lights came back on. He reappeared and waved.   "Thanks for the help!" she shouted over the wind. "That's okay!  God said you needed some." he replied with a smile and another wave. He turned and ran down the driveway back into the storm. In the split second it took for her to wonder where he came from he was gone. A funny feeling clutched at her heart.  The visibility was so poor with the storm. He had probably run to a waiting car but how had he vanished so quickly?  How had he known where to turn the power back on? Dismissing the questions in her mind she stepped inside the house and locked the door.   Immediately the wind died down and the rain eased to a light drizzle. "Oh sure, now it quits!" she muttered, brushing sodden hair from her eyes. Shivering, she threw several large logs onto the dying fire and standing in the warmth of the flames, pondered her mystery visitor once more.  She didn't have a scratch on her from the tree branch.   Where had he come from and why had he stopped to help her?    Why had he said God said she needed help? "Mama?" Sarah turned. Zach was standing in the hallway rubbing his eyes. "You're all wet and muddy.  I heard the door bang." he said. "Oh honey it's alright....I'm fine.  I had to go out and turn the lights back on.   The storm made them go off and I slipped and ...." she hesitated, not sure how much she should say. "I know and then Michael came and helped you.  I saw him out of my bedroom window.  I wondered where he was." her son replied. "Michael?  What are you talking about sweetheart? " "My angel Michael.  He comes and visits me and talks to me about Daddy." Sarah's stomach knotted and she walked over and knelt beside her son. "Honey...I know you miss Daddy and I want you to....." "It's alright Mommy.  I'm not mad at Daddy anymore.  Michael explained it to me and..." Zachary paused and stared past her. "Hello Michael.  I knew you would come back." Sarah spun around and stared at the stranger who had vanished into the pouring rain just moments ago. His clothes were clean and dry and the fear that had begun to flood every inch of her, dissolved as she saw him look at her son with a tenderness she could not begin to comprehend. Zach was grinning now. "I'm going to talk with your Mom for a while....is that okay with you?" the tall stranger said. Zachary ran up and gave the man a hug before Sarah could even react. "Okay Michael!"  he said as he ran back down the hall to his bedroom. "Michael...is that your name?  Would you mind explaining to me what is going on here?  Who are you?" Sarah stammered. Had she hit her head outside?  Was she hallucinating?" "Please do not fear me Sarah.  I told you outside that the Lord sent me to help you.  When Zachary began to tell you about me I knew I needed to come right back and explain." "Well thank you but I don't need any help." she replied as she sank down onto the sofa. "Oh and you are not hallucinating." he remarked. "Then kindly stop reading my mind and leave me alone." Sarah said taking a deep breath.  This could not be happening. "It is happening and I'm not the one who can read your mind.  God tells me what you are thinking." "Oh of course.  Well God and I haven't been to close lately.  I'm surprised to hear He cares to know what I am thinking." Michael walked over and touched her arm.   "You hide the pain in your voice well but He sees the tears in your heart right now.  He cares about you so much.   You may have given up on God but He has never given up on you.  Your bitterness however is destroying you and it is hurting your children deeply." Sarah laughed.  "Tell me something I don't already know." she said. But hot tears welled in her eyes despite her efforts to hold them back. She looked up at the angel. "You can tell God that I am not worth His time. I am a failure as a mother, a daughter and a friend....and" "You only fail when you quit trying and give up.  Come please....I have something to show you." She opened her mouth to refuse but something in the angel's eyes quieted the protest forming on her lips. If she was dreaming...suddenly she didn't want to wake up. He pointed to the window. "Look." he said. She blinked and it was gone.  They stood together outside her home in a quiet field. A thousand million stars blanketed the sparkling night shy.  The storm was gone. "We must hurry." he said. Without a word she followed him through the field and the corn stubble towards the lights of the town in the distance.  As she stumbled over the rough ground she began to feel an anticipation and excitement that filled the very air she breathed.....as though she were a small child again, waiting for a birthday party to begin.....as though she had just picked out a brand new doll or was cuddling a soft milky smelling puppy. Her worries and heartaches seemed so far removed from her heart that she could barely imagine that they ever concerned her. Running to catch up with the angels' long strides she tugged at his sleeve, gasping for breath. "Who is it?  Where are we going?" He looked down and her heart skipped a beat as she saw his eyes were shining with excitement. "Look up Sarah!"  Can you see what we are following?" She followed his gaze and there it was....shining brighter than the sun it seemed. "The star!  Michael it's the star!   But why it is here?  Why tonight?" "Sshh" Michael replied, slowing to a walk. Sarah began to look around. "Oh for heaven sakes...they did bring camels!" They were standing at the play site, complete with wise men, shepherds and an amazing assortment of livestock. She smiled as a cute little boy not much older than Zachary walked by herding a small flock of sheep.   The costumes were marvelous and the dim flicker of oil filled lanterns swayed in the entrance held by yet more actors in costume.   They had certainly gone to a lot of trouble. "What about the rest of the people?" she asked noticing that they seemed to be the only bystanders. He took her by the arm and drew her closer to the small stable. "They can't see us." he said. "No I mean the people to watch the play....oh!" A camel swayed and knelt right beside her, and she jumped sideways to avoid being struck by the swinging saddlebags. A man dressed in robes dismounted and began to speak. Sarah looked at Michael in disbelief.  The language was strange and the excitement in his voice unmistakable. "it's not the play...is it?" Michael smiled and shook his head As they watched more people arrive and an ox lowed a soft welcome. Sarah gripped Michael's hand as they entered the shelter and approached a rough hewn cattle manger. A young man and woman hovered over the manger, excitedly yet nervously welcoming their visitors as if perplexed with all the interest in their infant child.   But she also saw trust in their eyes as they kneeled and gave thanks to God in words she did not need to understand. In amazement she watched as one king after another lay their gifts before the newborn child who lay quietly awake in the manger.   As the shepherds moved in to see the baby their flocks stood calmly outside. Sarah looked at the animals. "They know...somehow." "Yes." "Can I get closer?" "Yes but hurry.   Our time is running short and soon the window will close." Sarah needed no second prompting.  She slipped around a shepherd boy and strained over a kneeling king to see the baby Jesus. The king stood and she crept in as close as she dared to the manger. He was beautiful...the perfect infant child....the King of Kings....the Son of God. "Oh how could I ever be worth of your gift?" she whispered, shutting her eyes. "Sarah.... I love you." Her eyes flew open.  Baby Jesus was looking right at her. "Sarah I will never leave or forsake you." His gaze remained steady upon her.  The love in those deep, beautiful infant eyes was beyond her comprehension, yet she knew that He knew her.  He knew her.  He knew everything about her and she would not be born for two thousand years. "How could you love me Jesus?" she asked silently, with the desperation of one so long unloved. "How could I not?" the baby replied to her heart without a sound. His tender eyes never left her. "You are my precious child Sarah....never doubt that I love you." For the longest time the wounded heart and the infant King of Kings exchanged gazes. Sarah felt a touch on her shoulder. "Come Sarah we must go." The scene began to fade. "I am always with you, child of my heart" Michael took her hand and she had no choice but to follow him with a heavy heart, looking back over her shoulder as the stable and all of it's occupants began to disappear into a misty swirl. If only she could stay with Him, everything would be okay...... "Mommy Mommy!!" The voice was insistent and loud. She opened her eyes.  She was kneeling by the couch. The fire was out and Zachary and Emma were standing beside her, shaking her with tender little hands. "You fell asleep praying Mommy!  Look!  It's morning!" Sarah looked out the kitchen window.  The sun was shining through the glass,sending little prisms of light through the stained glass ornament the children had hung there. It was Christmas Day. "Oh kids..I'm sorry.  Mommy wanted to get you the things you asked for..." Three year old Emma ran over to the tree. "Look Mommy!" Sarah stared in disbelief at the beautifully wrapped presents under the tree.  Emma was climbing onto a small pink bike with training wheels.  A bright red fire engine with shiny wheels sat beside it. Zachary took her hand and led her over to the tree. "Mommy these presents aren't from Santa.  The tags say "Love from Jesus". A lady brought them and left them at our door this morning.  I saw her. See I told you Jesus loves us!" he said. Sarah sat down and hugged her children tightly. "Yes He does, but He gave us a much greater gift.....the greatest gift of all, when He died on the cross for us." "We know Mommy.  That's why we asked God to help you not to be so sad any more and He said Michael would help you remember about  Jesus and His gift." Sarah smiled.   "Well he did.  Hey Zachary....would you tell Michael thanks...the next time you see him?" "I will Mommy, but he always says we should thank Jesus." Sarah drew therm closer and leaned back on the couch as they snuggled up to her. "Yes we should...and we will." She closed her eyes.  She could see Him as clearly as every and the look in His beautiful eyes, where she had at last found her peace. She hoped her children would never forget this Christmas...or the angel whom God had sent to take her place when she couldn't protect their tender hearts from her bitterness and pain. "Come on....let's get ready for church.  It's Jesus birthday today you know!" she said, giving them each a hug. She stood slowly and walked towards the door as the children ran to their rooms to dress for church.   She would need to get the car started and warmed up...it was still a chilly morning. It wouldn't be easy finding forgiveness for him in her heart. But the tender love of Jesus had taken root and begun to grow there in place of her pain, slowly healing the wounds and erasing the scars. It was indeed a new beginning after all. A tall angel stood outside the window and watched as Jesus rose and walked beside her to the door. "Glory" he said. Turning he hurried through the yard, down the street and around the corner, with the long strides of someone on a mission.      "The Lord is close to the broken hearted; He rescues those who are crushed in spirit."                      Psalm 34:18 (New Living Translation)   Back to the Stories page. Back to the Index (Main page)